


Home Movies With a Side of Anxiety

by BorrowedBlueBox



Series: Home Is Where My Family Is [21]
Category: Pacific Rim (2013)
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety Attacks, Don't read if panic or anxiety attacks trigger you, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-01 23:24:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,390
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4038580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BorrowedBlueBox/pseuds/BorrowedBlueBox
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Chuck and Raleigh decide to watch old home movies with Keegan. They didn't plan on Raleigh having an anxiety attack.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Home Movies With a Side of Anxiety

**Author's Note:**

> **Trigger warning: Raleigh has a panic/anxiety attack. Do not read if this triggers you.**
> 
> I really am not exactly sure where this came from. I just know that I was feeling angsty and upset when I wrote this. I liked it and kept it. Enjoy?
> 
> Beta’d, however, if you see any mistakes please let me know and I’ll fix them right away.
> 
> Constructive criticism is accepted but please no negativity. Enjoy!
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Pacific Rim. The only thing I own is a computer, internet connection, insomnia, and an account.

“You sure this is a good idea?” Chuck asked Raleigh as the two set up their TV to play the discs that Tendo had given them.

Raleigh nodded, hands shaking. Chuck sighed and pulled Raleigh towards the couch, the two curling up together.

“It’s going to get sad. Everyone will cry.” Chuck told his husband.

“It’s worth it. I want Keegan to know how we got here. Life’s full of sadness but it’s also full of happiness. These videos will show that.” Raleigh replied.

Raleigh and Chuck had planned on a family night with Keegan, just the three of them, watching old home movies. Keegan loved looking at pictures from the past or the present and Raleigh had suggested they watch videos of the two Jaeger pilots’ past.

While the two adults were setting things up, Keegan was tasked with collecting as many blankets and pillows as she could get and bringing them into the living room to create a fort.

“Is this enough?” Came Keegan’s strained voice from underneath a pile of blankets and pillows, Max following behind his little human.

“That is more than enough. Here, let me help.” Chuck laughed and rushed to help her.

Once the fort was set up and the TV was set to play, the four settled in. Keegan was wedged in between Chuck and Raleigh with Max curled up next to Chuck.

They started the first disc, footage from both Chuck and Raleigh’s childhood. One disc was dedicated purely to Chuck’s time in the Academy. Another was footage of Chuck, Herc, and Striker Eureka. Raleigh, Yancy, and Gypsy Danger had their own disc as well as a disc with Raleigh, Mako, and Gypsy Danger.

They were currently watching a tape of an interview with Raleigh and Yancy. The interview was done shortly before the Anchorage incident and Raleigh felt as if he couldn’t breathe. Watching Yancy talk and laugh and make jokes made Raleigh’s heart feel like it was being cut into pieces.

Raleigh vaguely heard Chuck saying things to Keegan, a squeeze of his hand from Chuck, Keegan’s grip tightening in his sweater but none of that really registered with Raleigh. The only thing that was registering was Yancy. His laugh, his smile, the way his eyes lit up, Raleigh couldn’t focus on anything else. 

He always felt Yancy with him but this was on a bigger scale. It was almost as if he was drifting with Yancy, neural handshake in progress, memories flooding in their minds.

_“Hey, kid!” Yancy said and continued when Raleigh questioned. “Don’t get cocky.”_

Just like that, Raleigh felt an excruciating pain in his left arm and he felt as if his lungs stopped working, he couldn’t breathe.

Chuck and Keegan jumped when Raleigh let out a wheezy pained cry. Chuck was at Raleigh’s side in three seconds; Raleigh was clutching his left arm and hyperventilating. Both Raleigh and Keegan were crying, Chuck tried to block Keegan’s line of sight towards Raleigh, not wanting her to see this.

Chuck knew what was happening, Raleigh was having a panic attack. He was reliving Anchorage.

“Keegan, turn the TV off and go to Papa and Daddy’s room, take Max with you.” Chuck instructed his daughter, ripping blankets away so Raleigh wasn’t in a fort feeling trapped.

“Now, Keegan!” Chuck hissed when his daughter didn’t move. He felt her move quickly, whimpering in fear.

“Rals. It’s okay. Hey. You’re okay. Breathe, Raleigh. Come on.” Chuck instructed, having scooted back to give Raleigh some space. He hesitantly pressed his foot to Raleigh’s and Raleigh jolted.

“Hey, it’s okay. You’re okay. Please breathe. In, now out, again, do it again. Good, Raleigh. Keep it up. You’re okay.” Chuck soothed as Raleigh looked at his husband wide eyed but not really looking. Raleigh was still in a Jaeger that was ripped apart, he was injured and alone and piloting it to shore.

“You’re home, I promise. You’re in California, not Alaska. No, keep breathing in and out, Raleigh.” Chuck said as Raleigh’s breathing picked up faster.

“Deep breath in, deep breath out. Please, Raleigh.” Chuck begged. Raleigh grabbed his hand as he started to breathe more normally. Chuck reached up and wiped the tears from Raleigh’s face.

“Yancy…” Raleigh whispered brokenly, burying his head in Chuck’s neck, sobbing.

“Shh, I know. I know. You’re alright, I promise. I’m here, I’ve got you.” Chuck soothed as he ran his hands through Raleigh’s hair, pressing a kiss to the top of his husband’s head.

Once Raleigh had calmed down, he moved his head so it was resting on Chuck’s shoulder, face towards Chuck.

“Thank you.” Raleigh whispered.

“Always, Raleigh.” Chuck promised and kissed Raleigh’s forehead.

“Keegan? What happened? Where is she?” Raleigh asked frantically, shooting up to a standing position, wide eyed.

“She’s in our bedroom, she’s frightened but I needed to calm you down first. I need to go check on her. Will you be okay?” Chuck spoke as the two walked towards their bedroom.

Raleigh nodded, still clutching his left arm, he felt a dull ache in his arm and his heart but that wasn’t anything particularly new.

“Just wait outside the door until I calm her down enough for you to come in.” Chuck instructed his husband once they reached their room. Raleigh waited outside listening to Chuck explain to Keegan what had happened.

“Papa! Is Daddy okay?” Keegan whimpered, throwing herself into his arms, crying. Chuck held her tight and ran his hand up and down her back soothingly.

“He’s gonna be okay.” Chuck assured their daughter.

“What happened? Is he hurt? Why was he crying? Why couldn’t he breathe?” Keegan asked, rapidly firing questions at Chuck.

“He had a panic attack.” Chuck answered and began to explain what a panic attack was.

“Can I see him?” Keegan asked quietly, wide eyes filled with tears looking up at Chuck. 

Chuck nodded and called out for Raleigh to join them. Raleigh entered the room slowly, head down, left arm being cradled to his chest.

“Daddy?” Keegan asked.

Raleigh didn’t speak, just wrapped his daughter into his right side hugging her tight. He pressed a kiss to her head as tears ran down his cheeks.

“Keegs.” His voice cracking.

“Papa and I are here; please don’t be afraid or sad.” She said quietly.

Raleigh let out a tiny sob and clutched her tighter to him as Chuck pressed up against his left side, resting his arm on Raleigh’s left arm. He gave Raleigh’s left shoulder a kiss and murmured an agreement to Keegan’s statement.

Chuck felt Raleigh nod and take a deep shuddery breath.

“Thank you. Both of you. I love you.” Raleigh spoke up after a moment of silence. Raleigh’s voice was soft and crackly but sincere.

“I love you too, Daddy.” Keegan said and reached up to kiss Raleigh’s right cheek as Chuck pressed a kiss to Raleigh’s left cheek.

“I love you too, Rals.” Chuck murmured against Raleigh’s cheek.

The three moved towards the head of the bed, curling up, Keegan in the middle, Chuck and Raleigh’s foreheads pressed together. Keegan had a handful of Raleigh’s sweater in one hand and a handful of Chuck’s Henley in the other. Max was curled up at the end of the bed, sleeping.

Keegan was asleep when Chuck whispered.

“Perhaps we should stick to photographs and stories.” Chuck squeezed Raleigh’s hand in his where the two hands were joined, resting lightly on Keegan’s side.

“Yeah.” Raleigh sighed in agreement.

“He should be here.” Raleigh whispered, his voice filled with sadness.

“He is.” Chuck whispered back.

“Not in the way we wish he was, but in the only way he can be right now.” Chuck added.

Raleigh nodded his head; Chuck reached up with their joined hands to wipe the fresh tears spilling from Raleigh’s eyes.

“He’s always with you, Rals, always.” Chuck said and pressed a kiss to Raleigh’s forehead.

“I know. Thank you, Chuck. I love you.” Raleigh sighed, eyes drooping suddenly tired from the panic attack and crying.

“I love you too, Rals. Go to sleep. I’ve got you. I’ll see you when you wake up in the morning.” Chuck whispered watching Raleigh close his eyes.

Chuck waited for Raleigh’s breathing to even out, signaling that the older man had fallen asleep, before succumbing to sleep, clutching his family tight.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry for making the babies sad. Please don't hurt me. I'll be good to them now.
> 
> Thank you for all the support!


End file.
